“I Am Responsible”
The use of EFT can be very helpful in this context and its purpose is to help us take responsibility for our own emotions, feelings, reactions and solutions and to cease blaming others and being a victim. It is empowering and uplifting, but it can also be challenging for some.
Some clients are not ready for this I am responsible technique at this time as the jump is too long for them, which is reasonably common for people new to EFT. The client needs to be ready or close to that, which may require a lot of EFT first.
When we react emotionally to something or someone, there are two separate and different things. They are “what happened” and “our response” to that. Later on, when that event gets triggered, we automatically react in the same way, which is something we ourselves do. Put another way, we are the source of the reaction and, fundamentally, responsible for it.
Experience tells us that being a victim doesn’t help us at all. We all know that truth, but it’s not always easy to resolve it or step out of it. We may not be able to change what happened or is happening, but we can change or eliminate our internal response(s).
The Basic Technique
The basic I Am Responsible process consists of selecting a persistent or recurring issue, upset, emotion, feeling, situation, reaction or similar and then working it over using the I am responsible statement while tapping on the acupoints.
Guide the client to “get into the issue” (or the emotion or feeling or similar) and check the current intensity that reflects his/her attachment to it (on a scale of 0 to 10).
In relation to a personal issue, feeling, emotion, situation, condition, happening, topic, reaction, or similar, the basic method is simply: “I am responsible” (referring to something) or it can be “I am responsible for my anger” (naming it), or similar.
The “I am responsible” statement is repeated when each acupoint is being tapped on, while doing as many rounds of tapping as needed (with some breaks to see how things are going).
Important: If an emotion, feeling, sensation or similar arises or becomes intense while saying and tapping on the I am responsible statement (and especially when it also tends to persist), it should be tapped on suitably and effectively using EFT. When done, return to saying and tapping on the basic I am responsible statement (if not complete).
This method can be done daily or regularly if the issue or situation or happening is long term or persisting or ongoing. There can be degrees of responsibility and ownership that gradually increase as the issue gets worked on.
A Particular Issue, Topic or Event
When the focus is on a general or long term issue, activity, problem, topic, person, work, group or similar, the I am Responsible statement can be expanded to give a wider scope.
Some useful statements are listed below in sequence. It may be useful (even essential sometimes) to discuss and clarify what each one means before proceeding with a statement.
There may be some other variations that would also be suitable and relevant to a particular situation, activity, relationship, issue, memory or topic (to really tune into it).
In relation to (the specified issue or person or event or outcome or similar) ……,
I am responsible for my reactions.
I am responsible for my interpretations.
I am responsible for my feelings.
I am responsible for my emotions.
I am responsible for my projections.
I am responsible for my beliefs.
I am responsible for my values.
I am responsible for my responses.
I am responsible for the consequences of my responses.
I am responsible for my decisions.
I am responsible for the consequences of my decisions.
I am responsible for my solutions.
I am responsible for the consequences of my solutions.
I am responsible.
When doing this process, make it very clear that the statements will only apply to that particular issue. It’s important to do this so that the sub-conscious mind knows with complete clarity what issue is being referred to. Check the intensity of the same issue afterwards (each time) to test progress.
Do rounds of tapping on each statement until you feel present with that one statement, and then do the same with the next statement, and so on.
Each statement needs to be expressed by the client with clear intention. Tap on enough statements and do enough rounds to reach a positive shift, and then check the intensity again by re-visiting and testing the issue or reaction or feeling.
When appropriate, you can test a particular statement by getting the client to say that statement out loud several times (while knowing it only applies to the selected issue) and getting him/her to notice any reactions or responses or intensity relating to that statement. Then, tap on what comes up thoroughly using standard EFT until there is no intensity on it. Then, test it again in the same way.
Continue tapping on a particular statement if there is any intensity or reaction until it has cooled right down, only then moving onto the next one. You may need to go through them all a few or many times. Finally, when all the statements have been adequately tapped on or as many as needed to get the positive shift, re-visit the issue itself and test its intensity again.
A Specific Feeling, Emotion or Belief
If working with a specific feeling, emotion or belief (or similar), rather than an issue or generalization, then it can be aimed directly at that feeling or emotion or other reaction. Some examples: “I acknowledge that I have this anger” or “I accept ownership of this fear” or “I am responsible for this sadness”.
An example of a sequence leading to and ending with “I am responsible” are:
In relation to (a specified current emotion/feeling/similar) …..,
I acknowledge this anger.
I accept that I have this anger.
I accept ownership for this anger.
I accept ownership of the consequences of this anger.
I forgive myself for having this anger.
I forgive the part of me I have blamed for having this anger.
This is my anger.
I acknowledge the part of me that has this anger.
I accept the part of me that has this anger.
I accept ownership of the part of me that has this anger.
I completely own this anger.
I am creating this anger and all its energy.
I am the creator of this anger.
I am responsible for this anger.
I am responsible.
These stepping stones are a bridge designed to help us move towards full ownership and responsibility. There is room for some creativity if required.
Give it a go!
You’ve got nothing to lose except your emotional pain.
Peter Graham, EFT Founding Master
Web site: www.tap4peace.com.au
31st of January 2015
NOTICE: This document may be passed on or freely copied or printed or shared providing that it is not altered at all or subtracted from or added to in any way and includes the author’s name plus this notice and the copyright notice. This document may be refined and updated from time to time and the latest version will be available on the author’s web site.
Copyright © 2015 by Peter D. Graham. All rights reserved.
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