Self Sabotage Worksheet
by Lindsay Kenny
Here are some of the most frequent ways we sabotage ourselves:
- Showing up late for appointments…especially big ones
- Being unprepared for an important presentation
- Staying out late the night before a big meeting or event
- “Getting sick” or being hung-over for important occasions
- Waiting until the last minute to start a significant project
- Cheating on diets or exercise programs
- Binge eating, purging, eating junk food
- Blowing off assignments and deciding “What the heck, I’m going to just do what I want”
- Rationalizing bad behavior “They can’t ME what to do!” or
- “I deserve to have this” (cookie, beer, time off, etc.)
- Taking on too much
- Substance abuse, clutter, procrastination (Yep, that’s right. All of these.)
- Hanging out with people who don’t support you being at your best (toxic people)
- Lying, then trying to cover it up
- Cheating on your significant other
- Giving up on yourself the “Why bother?” attitude
Highlight the ones above that fit you. Then write down other ways you sabotage yourself:
What factors cause us to sabotage ourselves?
1) Childhood conditioning: being criticized, controlled, put down, or bullied. How you were treated by your parents, siblings or others. Experiences from that caused feelings of unworthiness.
2) Our own behavior; failures, losses, regrets and disappointment in ourselves. Any and all subsequent behavior that validated your beliefs, from earlier in life; belief you don’t deserve happiness, success, joy wealth. Belief it’s not OK to have it all, or something others don’t have, etc.
Write down some of the things that might have caused you to feel unworthy and/or reasons you believe you sabotage yourself: (use singular words or short reminder phrases)
The pattern of Self-Sabotage (SS):
- You do something to SS yourself because you feel unworthy of having something.
- That generates negative emotions such as disappointment, anger, resentment, hopelessness, frustration and despair…almost all directed toward you.
- Those feelings validate the original beliefs about yourself, formed in childhood or in the past, such as I can’t do anything right, I’m a screw up, I’m not good enough, something’s wrong with me… and I’m not worthy.
- Those emotions, or feelings, along with the beliefs about yourself, cause you to further sabotage your efforts. “I’ve screwed everything up, so I don’t deserve to have this”.
- That, in turn, causes you to sabotage any forward movement… which causes disappointment, anger, and belief validation.
Does this pattern sound familiar?
I call this the “Vicious Psychic Circle Syndrome™”
Write down some of the pattern of your Self-Sabotage:
These patterns have a profound impact on your results and in your life.
Here are some of the consequences of Self Sabotage:
- You didn’t get that job (or promotion.)
- You did something that caused him/her to break up with you.
- Your boss and co-workers (or family) don’t trust you anymore.
- My credibility is zilch.
- You can’t count on yourself, so how can others count on you?
- You don’t trust yourself with decisions or choices.
- You are afraid of making the same mistakes over and over again. So why bother?
What are some of your patterns or the impact they have had on you?
How do we turn around this destructive pattern? Most people would start by tapping on “Even though I self-sabotage myself…” But that doesn’t work. What are you tapping on? What are you measuring? How will you know if you’ve made progress?
The best way to turn around these feelings of disappointment in yourself and your self- sabotaging behaviors is to tap away the cause of them. I use the Pro EFT™ technique of the Tower of Shame to do that.
Making an Energetic Tally
Using the above reflections you’ve compiled, start compiling (energetically) all of your mistakes, foul-ups, disappointments, regrets, bad judgments, wrong choices and broken agreements. For most people there should be a lot. Much more than you can remember.
Realizing that it’s virtually impossible to recall everything ‘wrong’ you have ever done, just put blank lines or squiggles on some of blank lines below to represent the totality of your “errors”. This means EVERY thing that represents sabotage-like events or emotions or beliefs.
Now we simply “Tap Away” the Tower of Shame, as heard on the audio about Self Sabotage
When done with the process of “Wiping the Slate Clean”, tap in how you want to show up in life:
I want to be responsible and be on time
I want to commit to living life at 100%
I want to respect my efforts by finishing all projects on time
I want to show up like it matters
I want to regain the trust in myself
I want to reclaim respect from others
I want to reestablish my credibility by completing all commitments to myself and others
I want to know that I’m worthy of success and happiness.
Fill in your own desires about this:
- Write down how your life will be different when all of that is true.
- Tap away any resistance to change.
- Now, change those phrases to CHOICES. Just substitute “I choose” where it says I want. Tap that in until you feel it.
Keep at this until you feel 100% congruent. If you’re struggling with it, ask a tapping buddy or coach to help you. You deserve to feel good about yourself and instead of shooting yourself in the foot, love yourself unconditionally!
Good Luck and Good Tapping,
[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://eftmastersworldwide.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/lindsay_100x100.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Lindsay KennyWebsite http://www.ProEFT.comEmail LKcoaching-LK@yahoo.comContact Phone 888-449-3030Location state :California country:USACredentials Founder of National Alliance for Emotional Health, AAMET certified trainer[/author_info] [/author]
Lindsay is an EFT Master with over 30 years of experience helping people to eliminate barriers, improve their self-esteem, and become more effective in life. She brings thousands of hours of coaching and facilitating experience into her practice and classes. Lindsay is also the Founder and Director of the National Alliance for Emotional Health, and a certified trainer for AAMET (Association for the Advancement of Meridian Energy Techniques.) “My mission in life has always been to help others. I knew when I was 12 years old that that’s what I wanted to do when I grew up. Using EFT in my coaching practice gives me a great opportunity to achieve that goal in highly effective way.”
Lindsay offers private sessions, in the San Francisco Bay Area, and worldwide by phone. She is also an accomplished seminar facilitator, conducting Levels 1, 2, and 3 Progressive EFT workshops, Practitioners Intensives, EFT Teleclasses and Webinars. Lindsay also created and facilitates the 9-day “Ultimate Practitioner’s Workshop” for those wanting to make EFT a part of their life and business. She authored “The Ultimate Level 1, 2 and 3 Workbooks” an co-authored the EFT book “Freedom at Your Fingertips”. “Showing others how to be effective with EFT and teaching them how to pass it along to others, is one of my biggest pleasures in life.” Visit me at http://www.ProEFT.com or http://www.TappingWorkshops.com